Big and Little Fears
This essay was honestly one of the hardest essays for me to write if I'm being completely honest here. When this was assigned I thought that it would be really easy because all I had to do was write about myself, I soon learned that was not true. I began with writing about worms, which are my weirdest fear. I finished first paragraph and I totally froze, I had no idea what to write about next. I had this interesting first paragraph with nothing to follow. I thought about what I could write about and at one point I thought about completely abandoning my worm topic and write about strength, but I decided against that. I was very scared that I wouldn't be able to write anything, so sat for a very long time and then I realized what I could write about. My fear of not knowing what to write mad me realize what my essay was about. Fear! My essay would be all about fear. I then listed almost all of my fears and picked which ones to include in my essay. Fear is something that you can learn from and in my case here I was able to use my fear to help me to realize what I would write my essay about.
Final Draft
In this final draft I made a few minor changes, I took out the fourth sentence in the first paragraph and corrected a few grammar mistakes. I also added a little background knowledge into the second paragraph, and took out a few words.
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College Application Essay Final Draft | |
File Size: | 51 kb |
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Second Draft
In this draft I took out my excessive use of the words "always", "scared", and "fear". I used them constantly as a way to emphasize my point, but I used them way too much. I went through and changed them into phrases like "to be scared of" or I just completely took them away. In this draft with out the constant use of the words "always", "scared", and "fear", the paragraphs flow much more smoothly. Also the reader can better understand what I am trying to say without those word
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College Application Essay Second Draft | |
File Size: | 297 kb |
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Rough Draft/ Peer Review
This draft took me a very long time to write. After having my introduction paragraph written I could not figure out what to write. I originally completed my essay only talking about worms ,and it made absolutely no sense. I deleted everything except for my introduction paragraph, and started over. I sat for a while scared, which was what inspired what I was going to write my essay about. As I was writing this draft I was thinking about different examples of fears that I could use to further explain my point. Finally after I figured out all of my fears that I wanted to use, I wrote my second paragraph, but from there I didn't know what to write. I actually took a quick nap and when I woke up I knew exactly how I was going to finish my essay. I wrote about how someone can learn from his or her fears. With that I was able to write my final two paragraphs to finish my essay.
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College Application Essay Rough Draft | |
File Size: | 399 kb |
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