The Red Cup
This is a story that I have written about before when I have needed to write about a big personal experience that happened to me. When writing for school essays I am normally a very safe writer, but I knew that a little challenge wouldn't hurt me. So rather than writing my remembered event essay in first person I decided to try to write it in third person. I wanted to write my essay like this because I wanted to challenge myself. I knew that I could write this story perfectly in the first person, because I have before, but I had never tried to write it in the third person. Through this essay I struggled to not use the words "I", or me", but I wanted the challenge. This essay challenged me to get out of my comfort zone a little bit and because of this I was able to write this, my remembered event essay, in the third person.
Final Draft
My final draft went through so much editing I think I might have added too much! I added more dialogue where dialogue was needed, and I tried to better describe certain things. I took out a few unnecessary sentences and added ones that better explained my point. When I was editing my rough draft I failed to indent the dialogue on my third page, so I also indented all of the dialogue on the third page.
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Remembered Event Essay Final Draft | |
File Size: | 61 kb |
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Second Draft
In this second draft I corrected a lot of sentence fragments, and improper grammar. In my first paragraph I did switch tenses a lot so I corrected that which would better help the paragraph to flow more smoothly. I went through and indented most of my dialogue because I did not know that I had to indent when I used dialogue. I was able to better explain that the point of this essay was to show how important family is to me after making a few corrections and after changing a little wording. Overall I was able to fix most of the mistakes.
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Rough Draft/ Peer Review
Writing this rough draft did not take long at all. I was able to sit down and write it all within a short period of time, but it was not easy. I had to first remember the events as the occurred, but instead of being Shannon and telling the story from my point of view, I needed to act as the narrator. There were many times where I would use "I" when I was trying to described the events. Especially while I was writing the last scene when I had already fallen off the horse. I kept typing "I" when I was saying that Shannon was screaming. I was very very excited when I finished this essay, although there were many times where I wished that I had just written it in the first person I was able to stick with it. I do think that I m now a stringer writer because of this essay; it challenged me to think outside my box and I was able to grow and learn from it.
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This is the camp that I attend in the summer, and this was the camp that I was at when I fell of Grey the horse. http://www.csdirectory.com/marketplace/camps.html
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Remembered Event Essay Rough Draft | |
File Size: | 620 kb |
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